tired

wa...
today so tired..
>.<

today i feel like.. myself.. like a teacher...
teaching some kindergarten.. students >.<

anyway.. a nice experience... though..
at least.. they all are nice...
and my performance.. need to be enhance..
i'm doomed...
>.<
all people will chase me till i die.. for projects..
so many people chasing me... ar......

now so sleeply..
after ytd.. only slept few hour.. #.#
tired.....

new status.. old enviroment.. or old status.. new enviroment?

today... alone.. go watch movie..
i think next time.. of future i also will be alone..
nvm..

reach home.. feel like wan to online awhile..
open face book..
saw some one uploaded a new picture..
the first impression.. give me..
*of course is leng.. la...
but.. it give me feeling like...
grr... go out "wet" and "eat" with dunno who.. at dunno where...
feel a bit angry...
inside the picture.. you looks so happy...
that means.. during that time.. you must having a great time..
see the status...
think more..
i slowly realize...

i'm not your.... already..
see more clearly... inside the picture.. your hand also without the rings..
looks like the new "you" without me will looks more happy...
keep on thinking.. when you go there.. eat..
keep on looking for the date.. on the picture.. etc.

STOP!!!...
i told myself..
i also think of... maybe.. last few days.. you also wan to put this picture.. but today only you decide to put it.. after meet with me..

STOP thinking...
ok.. just let it go...

ok..
ok
ok..
i'll change my status also..
after tomolo...
we will never see again...
i'll slowly disappear in your life..
you'll also slowly... disappear in my life...

i hope i can find one girl.. that really understand what i need...
to me... together(2 people) go watch the movie that i like is very important..
it symbolize something..
it also is an important process for me..


maybe i'm not the one you want...
and you are not the one that i want...
even though.. i did really... love..

as i always believe..
simple things.. means meaningful..and this part.. where my trust was build at here..
this part.. maybe you forever also won't understand..
as you said me also...
you wan freedom... <- maybe this part i also forever will not understand..
or maybe i understand... but maybe i think that the freedom... that you want.. are harm.. to us... so that i do so much things...

...

ok back to the picture...
even thought... i felt a bit angry.. when i see the picture..
maybe i'm crazy...
maybe i'm too selfish...
but i know i should happy...
wish you happy..
and hope.. amitabha.. will protect you...
at the same time..
i'm so thankful.. for JAY chou.. to having a nice concert for me and you..
for the last time...

and.. i'll find the "ONE" that will and willing and appreciate to go Jay's next concert with me... as i always wish to... "hope that time.. no other ppl disturb".. this is what i called.. "Dating".. this is what i call "Pak Toh"..

maybe this is my first time dating... so that i think that go to watch movie.. together.. 2 ppl is important...
maybe this is my first time dating... so that i care so much....
maybe this is my first time dating... so that i wish so much...

ok la...
mati lo..
keep on type.. i feel become more awake..
cham.. how to sleep?
>.<
ok la.. my story ends here....
in future.. maybe will write less at here already..
or maybe will keep on write also..
haha.. i also dunno ...
see mood la...

anyway.. really...
as every time i go pray..
i also really hope you..
"kin hong, hang fook, fai lok"
really hope you... can forget me...
i'm very sorry.. to knife a deep deep deep scar on your book... that you can't never erase...
at the same time.. really worried about you...
really hope.. amitabha will protect you..
pray pray pray...
at the same time.. i'll tell you my praying will ends here...
you have to fly yourself..
when you fly high.. and happy... i'll not be with you there...
when you fall.. i'll not be with you there...

type type type.. see facebook again...
aik.. someone.. got "eyes light" brought me de...
lol...
but anytime.. tell you true...
as you wan... "you are my super best friend".. so that.. next time if you need anyhelp you can always find me.. or got any update news.. for me.. eg... go back penang.. works.. or get a new bf... (i really don't hope those ppl is... your house mate.. or your human pets' friends)... @@
sory.. i control you again...
i also dunno la...
BOOOOOOMMMMMM
amitabha ....
i gila liow...
LOL
=.=

no need worry me...
i know what is my strength..
my strength.. is regen very fast...
kena dagon.. also will not die 1.. back to home.. then regen.. can go kill already...
LOL

maybe this is what i learn from the book...
"Who moved my cheese?"
this book... i last time.. ask you read.. but i sure you until now also nvr read..
>.<
nvm la.. up to you..

yeah..
"up to you" this line of sentence again..
>.<
last time i never use this line..
but after i meet susu...and you...
i started to use this line of sentence..
cause what?
cause .. you both.. also got use the same line to me also..
LOL
=.=
for the story.. haha... dun wan let you know... :p
ok.. wish, pray... for you..
night.. and bye....

sick

today.. lazy to write blog..
tired..
sick..
whole day eat plain white bread only..
no go work...
but have to work at home..
sleep.. until half.. got call...
sleep until half.. got call...

today no boom toilet.. but.. muntah...
seems like.. still not ok...
but mc for today only..
zzz
tomolo have to go work...
@@
stomaches still got many gas.. can't come out..>.<
pening...
@_@
but.. dunno why...
tonight play dota.. i got triple kill..
+ godlike..
+ brought divine..
+ solo roshan
+ get aegis
on the 2 vs 4.. game
>.<
but.. at last.. also lose...
@.@

plain white bread

argh...
after yesterday visit so many times toilet..
today.. the stories continue..
>.<
today.. went to toilet less times.. compare to yesterday..
but.. i still have to go...

know what?
the story continue with... the toilet.. never wash..
until today..
try to think..
if a toilet.. can't flush..
and 1/3 of them already boomed...
today i continue boom it again..
really pening...

today.. really a busy.. busy busy day..
keep on rushing project.. for that stupid customer..
today.. already called me for more than 10 times...
all call also asking for amendment.. and changes..
and he wan it fast..zzz

after finish rush the project..
ANOTHER new project.. for me.. and require me to done it by TODAY..
because some one BIG wan to see it..
the time.. i receive this... around 4.xx something..
and on my hand still rushing that stupid customer's project...
really physically and mentally boomed..

my colleague.. felt the earth quake..
but..
that time.. i'm really blur.. blur..
really can't feel..
and the stomaches keep on having little pain..
>.<

6.00...7.00..still keep on doing coding..
at 7.xx..., the previous stupid customer.. called me.. AGAIN..
really.. stupid.. really wish to don't answer the call..
arghhhhh...
but the boss' wife.. at behind..
i have to answer... :(
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
do do do....

finally.. finish a phase.. and boss also already offline..
wee.. go home lu..

as everyone told me.. asking me to go see doctor..
ok..
after i finish work... i go see the doc..
so many people...>.<

:(
:(
:(

finally.. i only can eat.. plain white bread..
and.. many "candies"...

when reach home..
the boss called me again..@@
and the stories.. never endddddddddddd..................................

sick

haih..
after so many nights late sleep..
finally today sick already..
T.T

today.. really angry..
first time.. i scold.. the stupid customer.. in front of the boss..
the stupid.. customer.. know only diam.. when i scold.. he also know he is wrong..

and...
omg..
today i have to go toilet.. for few times..
you try to think.. if the toilet bow... can't flush..
and i already occupied.. 1/3 total of the rooms in the toilet..
how many times i wen to this stupid toilet?

and one more things..
after went to toilet so many times..
and feel a bit.. fever..
very hot.. at the throat..
and very cold at outside..
very blur blur..
and still have to drive to home..
T.T

ah...
sick....
and tomolo still have to go work...
T.T

never ever..

hehe... today..
as normal..
go work.. wait lunch time..
lunch time.. wait 6.00

today is a social day..
meet with some new peoples..
hello everyone.. nice to meet.. you all

don't know whether wan to join or not..
thinking..
lol..

another big problem here..
career... i can see that the company.. is doomed to go down..
>.<
all staff.. doesn't have motivation to continue to work..
everyone is planning to find a new job..
>.<
some one say.. "it is the boss plan.. to change the company's blood"
lol.. can understand?

~~~~~~~

today i saw one message..
make me.. can confirm my prediction...
yeah.. so let it be..

when i love one people.. i will take care ALL things about her..
the people that i don't love.. i will take care.. little things about her..

the care that i gave.. you don't wan..
the next time I'll give it to other people..
^^

the heart really broken..
and now reborn.. a new heart..
that never ever...
never ever...


so let all together be :)

"Don't be sad because it's over, smile because it happened"

won't return to the past

today in my thought .. i keep on talking to myself..
asking myself to won't return to the past..

hahaha...
i should move forward..
i'll take care my family more..
i'll earn more money..
i'll bring my family to travel..
i'll upgrade my house..

upgrade anythings..
and won't return to past..

and at this point..
i know my future life will be far more better...
today.. a happy day... =)

cheers~~

PostSecret

recently.. i really in to PostSecret.com
this website is great..
it really got many many different kind of secret...
some of them is very very sad...
some of them is humorous..

it is a website that publish the postcard that posted by anonymous..
it is an arts..
reading people's secret/postcard..
it really give me...a big...xxxx... dunno how to say..

i'll appreciate my life more..
i able to put down things.. more easilly..
i know many other's people's secret..
their trouble, situation.. is very worse..

i'm really very very very sad... but.. after see so many post card/secret... i feel better... i also learned somethings also...

i also got many secret...
keke..
Jay Chou also got a movie call secret...
you also got many secret...i knew...
muahaha....

~ ~ S E C R E T ~ ~

one needle thick..

today.. i already know many things...
things that people don't wan me to know..

yet...
maybe.. this make my mind now.. very clear..
after think back...
today really many things happen..
really many..

in career..
woah..... ANGRY betul..
with the stupid client...
really feel like.. wan to punch on his face..
change this change that..
after change.. then change again...
and everytime change.. also change big big..
big until same like the workload quite similar to create a whole new website..
and this is not the first time..or second time.. or the third time..
already don't know how many time..
"brother.. you think easy ah... change change.. change.."
althought most of the works.. is designer works..
but.. i'm one of the person in charge of this.. and pass the job/admendment to the designer..
yet i'm clear that... this stupid client.. really.. !!!
the workloads really heavy...
I'm really wan to punch his face....

";,,,,;"


still got many things happened.. in the office..
really many things..

everythings i see clearly..
dunno how to say..
just..
"let's see how far its go.."

wow.. haha... the chorus of my favourite song..
keke..

yeah... think think think..
today i saw one video.. from postsecret..
a very nice very nice video..


after all...
i think i'm very clear...
so that i change the blog title already..

suddenly.. i found out that my bag.. already become..less burden..
become..not heavy..
become lighten...

er.. but now i feel like.. wan to muntah muntah.. >.<
today at office.. eat quite a lot of Durian + Cheese cake..
because no ppl eat ... >.<
anyway.. the taste is good also..
but eat too much..
now the breath.. keep on coming out.. @@
from stommache to throat.. and mouth..


today.. not a happy day..
also is a happy day..
just one needle thick..

the3rd day...i lost yyou

the third day..
today is Valentine's day..
today wake up early.. prepare things..
and plan a "special project" on tonight..
already prepare... nice shirt to change after work..
already prepare a rose for you..
already plan the place to bring you to go..

yet.. i know you won't give me chance...
you just treat me as "best friend"
ok la.. i know.. but... i know a good place for her to hang out...
so that today.. i plan to bring her go..
maybe this is the last time.. i bring her go out already..
(*of course.. in deep deep heart.. don't wish this is the last time..)

anyway..
today reach your house...
and tried to call you.. to wake you up..
hm.. i get waiting in the on hold mode..
hm..... so i just let you finish your call only open the door for me..

go inside..
of course.. very hope to go in to the room..
next time.. got no chance to come here again already..
i try to take picture...
take take take.. to save all the memories in the picture..
the chairs... the table.. the fans..
the bed.. the cupboard....
i'm very missed that place..

and most important.. i plan to every morning.. to take a couple picture with you..
so that at this ending road..i still have some nice memories..
don't know next time.. when still got chance to take picture with you..

then i ask you to go out at the night..
and you rejected..
hm...
nvm...

back to working place..
today many things to do...
keep on rush rush..
yet very very very lazy and no mood to do things..
keep on seeing msn... looking for someone..
but don't dare to send msg..

then... later on.. have to go meet customer...
talk talk talk..
omg.. i'm LATE...
really scare..
keep on rushing my friend.. to drive... >.<
finally.. also able to reach..
and fetch her to go..
perodua center... for buying new car..
so that next time.. no need i fetch already..

after that.. she bring me.. to dinner.. with one more friend..
indicating.. me is just her best friend..

the rose send to her.. but she also no take back home...
the nice shirt.. prepare on the boot.. but never wear...
the plan to bring her to walk.. didn't success...

after all..
back to home... also have to work.. and rush project..
wish to call her.. because didn't see her online..
but i know... she doesn't expecting my call..
wish to call her... and wish her good night...
but.. i think that wish.. will make her.. feel annoying also..

nvm la..
tomolo bring her to put order already..
after 2-3 week.. we will never see already..

everytime.. see her.. also got a feel.. and rush.. to hug her..
see her's hand.. really wish to grab her hand....

but all...all... all....
already.. can't...

good night to you...

the 2nd day...i lost yyou

...
today so lazy to go work..
go work wait lunch time..
lunch time wait.. finish work

lazy lazy lazy ah...
don't wan work ah..

today the second day without yyou..
i also try many way.. to keep you back..
but all end up.. no use..

today i bring you go test drive..
as you said.. you wish to buy a new car so that next time no need i fetch you already..

hehe.. after test drive..
then i bring you to one romantic place.. to "chang table leg"..
haha.. ordered the couple set.. LOL
but.. you keep on remind me.. that we both are only best friend..

but.. see you sekejap angry liow.. because i drive wrong road..
really..
don't so angry la.. =.=
drive here drive there.. also wish to bring you to a good place to dine ma...

tomolo is valentines day..
i already book her..
and ask her to go out with me..

anyway.. i know.. you just treat me as a "best friend"
anyway.. today i come out with these phases.. it sound so deep.. yet.. so simple..
LOL

"..
i also don't wish ...
but now i have to slow slow lo..
slow slow help her.. to leave me..
and hope one day.. she will come back to me.."

today i try so hard.. to hug you..
hug hug hug..
this is the last time i can hug you..
no more... no more...
as normal..my eyes very "thick"..
can't tahan.. then i cried..

anyway.. today i tell myself..
i have to grow..
come out bleed blood.. also can't cry..
=.=

recently.. really like this song..
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love..
and i also like the song's Music Video...

the 1st day...i lost yyou

today is the first day...we separate..
trying many way to recover it..
yet...
you are still no feeling..

since that day.. see you keep on sms with someone..
keep on calling with someone and chat for long time...
you got any problem.. also will call this people..
i don't know... what this people told you..

and since that night you go out with your friend at the beach..
you already changed..

you are not the yy that i know before..

every time trying to call you...
my call hang in the on hold...
every time i trying to call you..
you are chatting.. with other people.. on the line..

ok la..
type.. then erase back..
type then erase back..
dunno write what..
yet many things to write

ok..
your action..
your reaction..
your behavior..
showed all..

i know de..
i know de..

~~~~~~~~~~~~

wow.. here come another story..
today i drive alone to mid valley..
normally mid valley.. very hard to find parking.. >.<
i also a bit scare to go there..
but.. i also have to go.. @@

but.. today quite good.. i round a while.. i found my parking just at in front of the door there.. hehe... so lucky..

then i go eat.. good food..
as i call good food.. it is means.. expensive food >.< $$$$$$
eat eat eat..
free flow fruit juice.. (* of course.. need to pay the price $$$$$)

hehe.. the fish is delicious...

after eat.. then... hang around awhile.. and of course... wow..
go gamble lu...
at that time.. already a bit tired.. and sleepy..
gamble gamble gamble..
remember back last time i also at the same place..
also gambling... at there..
but that time is diff...
i'm more happier.. >.<
y?
because that time.. i got one ppl keep on "jau" me lose money..
keke.. naughty this ppl..
this year.. diff lu..
i play alone..
no target..
no motivation..
play play play..
finally lose the money.. and then go a side sit.. and hang a while..
>.<
ppl said..
"choi san yan on lok"
means.. lose all money.. then only ppl will feel steady..
haih.. dunno la..

wu... back home lu.. this time.. parking no good.. >.<
the right hand side mirror.. bang a bit to the besi there.. >.<
don't know why the floor there.. inside got a hole..
krat.......
tuuuukk....
#.#

faster park it.. and go home..
argh...
i wan go toilet..
>.<
dunno is it drink too much.. fruit juice.. and mix all diff kind of juice..
rush to toilet... >.<
on the rush.. i simple check my mirror and it is no problem..i think

hu.. reach home...
i plan to write back my nonsense blog..
maybe last time after watch the drama...
so now i also wan to follow the drama...
haha...

good night...
don't sleep so late lo...
>(//DREAM//)<

if sleep so late, later do many facial also can't help... >.<